Good Mum or Domestic Goddess?

In the last 9 months since CC came along I've become somewhat houseproud. This is a statement that BFS may refute, but even he would have to admit the change in the house compared to this time last year. I find that I am even more so when he's away at work. It never seems to end - I was even defrosting the freezer at 9:30pm tonight!

This would certainly be deemed to be a good thing, and it can only have a positive effect on our marriage (let's just say that BFS has no qualms in making his frustration known)but today I started to question how good it is for the kids?

Don't get me wrong - I'm by no way suggesting that they should be brought up in squalor and fed frozen meals in front of the telly, but today I just felt so frustrated at my inability to interact - and more specifically being unable to leave the house and subject them to fresh air on what was a still, bright, glorious winter day. BFS had called in the morning asking what our plans for the day were. I assured him that the only plan I was making was to get the boys out that afternoon for a walk or a trip to the park.

As it was I spent the morning doing chores and some odd jobs whilst awaiting the arrival of Mr. Tesco.com. Poor CC was confined to his ba-pa-doo-waaah activity centre whilst the kitchen was cleared and breakfast dishes done, the fridge and freezer were sorted in anticipation of their new contents. Luckily the grocery delivery coincided with him going down for his nap. However the subsequent putting away of groceries then took over an hour. Before this was completed LL had arrived home from nursery (kindly dropped off by a friend), I then had him help with 'putting away,. I then made our lunch, then prepared CC's fruit and veggies for steaming. Once his lunch was ready I got him up and fed, then I had the kitchen to clear again and all of the dishes to do. Once this was done I then had to start cooking our fish pie which BB had requested for dinner. Once this was finally done and prepped and ready to go into the oven (which I had set the timer for cooking whilst we were at BB's dance class) it was 3pm and time to quickly get another bottle down CC's throat and get BB's dancing gear and scoop up both boys into the car to collect BB and drive him to his dance class, from which we wouldn't return until 5:30 (and pray that I'd set the oven correctly and our dinner had actually cooked!)

All the while LL was left to amuse himself which consisted of him following me around sweeping the floor after I was done, then re-washing all of the dishes for me (him pottering in the sink pouring water from vessel to vessel!)whilst I chopped veg and other pie stuff and poor CC was once again confined to the activity centre being drip fed raisins to chase and chew to keep the grumbles at bay. So much for quality time with the boys. I wonder if I should just phone social services before someone beats me to it!

Ironically I remember having a conversation with friends and BFS about a mutual acquaintance who had a sparkly new house which she spent every spare second cleaning (even when guests were in) and two kids who couldn't have a real childhood because they couldn't touch anything and didn't get any time with their mum because she was too obsessed with clearing up. Now I'm nowhere even close to the obsessive cleaning thing - and my house would never make it into Good Housekeeping and the kids can play to their hearts content (although they're much better at clearing up after themselves now) but it has to be said that BB (and to a lesser extent LL) had much more mummy time. Doing things with them definitely took priority over worrying about the domestic side of things. I felt guilty enough about the fact that CC fits in around the other two as it is, but now I just feel as though I should be giving him so much more, but instead I'm always doing something else.

The one thing that I've done for him is deciding to ditch our usual Wednesday toddler group and instead travelling an extra 6 miles to Fettercairn to attend a different one. I thought initially it would be nice to meet a few new faces, but actually it's good because it's just a different set-up. You sit on the floor and play with your child rather than sitting on a bench sipping tea whilst your child amuses them self! It's only an hour a week - but it's one completely devoted to him where I can't be distracted with the dishes, or that thing lying out of place, or preparations for lunch or dinner.

I know that being the perfect mum should come under the umbrella of being the domestic goddess - but right now I can't see how the two can be combined. It's either domestic me, happy hubby and neglected kids or neglected house, p***ed off hubby and happy kids. Now it's like the 'Daddy or chips' question.....

Or maybe I can just work at finding a happy medium because right now I'm failing in my role as Mum extraordinaire and that's just not acceptable!

Snip snip

This was the moment when BB had his first 'mummy authorised' trip to the hairdresser. Daddy did take the two boys along just over a year ago to a special 'kiddies hairdresser' without my knowledge - and still to this day I am ashamed at the way in which I handled the shock of seeing my boy with his hair chopped when it was sprung upon me (I think I may have scarred BB for life at that point about heading to the hairdresser!)

It's taken over a year, but today I convinced my boy that it was okay for it not to be mummy who cut his hair, and along with a bit of lollipop insider knowledge (thanks K!) he happily skipped along to the grown ups hairdresser and sat like an angel whilst having his locks chopped. I gave him the decision whether he'd like it somewhat shorter, but he said he liked it long - so he got a trim and a lot more layering done - so it actually looks much shorter than it was. I patted myself on the back for being uber enthusiastic throughout the whole affair and he left with a lollipop in hand and a smile on his face.

Taking off......well almost!

CC is soooooooo close to taking off. He started the year just managing to get onto his front from the sitting position by doing the 'frog'. He'd press his feet together, knees split to the side and pull himself over. last two weeks ago he started reversing this and progressed into pushing himself backwards until he'd work a foot back under himself so he could push himself back to sitting. He's been working on this technique for the past week or so and so can propel himself backwards until he reaches his destination and then uprights himself. Adding to this he's now bringing his knees together and rocking on his knees in the crawling position but hasn't sussed moving his knees yet - he'd rather flatten himself on the ground and frantically kick his legs as though he's practising a new swimming stroke!

Very late in the day he actually mastered rolling over only yesterday! I'd just discussed with BFS last night about how if you plonked him on his bum in a room and left, then when you came back he could have moved anywhere, however should you leave him on his back he would remain there like a stranded turtle. No sooner had I said this than at the next nappy change he promptly rolled onto his front as if trying to make an escape! What a nightmare - I'm now having to pin down one of his arms to keep him still long enough to get his bum wiped!

There is no doubt though, that by the time BFS returns from work that he is going to be greeted by a mini mobile missile!

Damn you Mother Nature

I'm feeling somewhat disheartened this evening. BFS headed back to work a few days early today - but that's not the major reason for the low ebb. It's because my body no longer appears to be functioning in the way that it should.

It's not that hard. I'm a mum, I have a simple function and that's to provide milk for my offspring. My supply however, appears to be drying up. I had full intentions of nursing CC until he turned one, but I doubt that's going to happen. The demise started when BFS and I headed to London for the weekend as I dropped a couple of feeds to ensure that CC would take the bottle from his Gran. That coupled with the less frequent expressing whilst away has left me on the back foot since we came back.

For the past few weeks I've only fed early morning and at bedtime, but have had to top up at bedtime with formula otherwise he isn't satisfied (which counteracts the supply and demand argument). Last night he fed on one side and after a measly few seconds of sooking on the other he came off and looked up at me as though asking 'well where's the milk mummy?'. Oh dear! He slept until breakfast time so I dropped the early morning feed expecting to have filled up by tonight, but no...he still got a measly offering. He's 10 months next week so I'll persevere until then and just start drinking gallons of fluid throughout the day, but I'm miffed mostly as the decision of when to stop feeding should have been something that I should have been able to make myself - not just because I had to.

On a better note though (as you may have picked up from my rant) CC is sleeping much better now. He generally makes it through to 5am, but even better on the past few mornings I've been totally spoiled with 6:30 - 7:30am sleeps. That coupled with the fact that BFS has been an absolute start this leave and has let me get loads of rest. I'm actually beginning to feel half human again. I still look like shite, but at least I'm functioning in a semi normal fashion!

Our year has started out pretty relaxed. We went off to hibernate in Skye for a week and cut ourselves off from civilisation over the New Year period.We lived in our pj's, the boys played with their xmas Lego and Playmobil and we played games and watched DVD's. BFS caught up on his rest and when we got home I got a tad unwell so it was my turn to hit the sack for a couple of days.

I'm heading back to work in April so we have to make the most of this next few months together before the disruption hits...

Mummy do you have a willy?

Asked LL this morning, and then when I told him I didn't he asked 'can I check?'

Errrrrrmmmmm.......