It's Birthday Eve!

The balloons have been blown up, the gifts wrapped, and the cards written. All are laid out and waiting for the birthday boy to find in the morning....

BB is five tomorrow. LL was three a fortnight ago so it's birthday season here at Station House. The cake is yet to come as I've decided to keep it until the weekend rather than waste it on his school chums! There's been a bit of over compensation with a helium balloon and other numbered ones scattered around - ooh I've just remembered a birthday banner I have that I can pop up too - all due to the fact that he's getting no party (which he's been really good about). Instead I took all of the boys to the RAF Leuchars Air Show on Saturday. We went to look at jets and watch displays. Just what little boys love!

BB is getting a shiny new bike - he doesn't know yet. Just hope he likes it.

Photo mojo

It has been pointed out to me by my wonderful hubby that the blog is seriously lacking in photographic content (hopefully by the time this gets to print this will be rectified!)

I've lost a bit of my 'photo mojo' lately. I went through a dry spell regarding volume of pictures taken, and although once again I am picking up my camera, I've not been taking the time to sit and edit the pics. I'm reluctant to post any that I haven't taken the time to perfect and hence the complete absence of pictures to go with my posts.

I'm putting it down to tiredness, and really hope that once I am able to get more than 4 hours kip at a time (which is the most I've managed in the past six months - and that's on good nights!) I'll manage to deal with some of the backlog. Whereas I used to do some throughout the day, I'm now limited to evenings as the boys take up all of my time, and I don't want to sacrifice that time with them. I also want to make sure that this time I spend with them is recorded in such a fashion that our activities and memories are there for prosperity to look back on in years to come. A hard balance to come by. At least if I have the pictures there then at least I know I can go back to them at any time.

I just hope that I get that time - but at least if I don't I know that it's only because I've been spending the time with my boys instead!

Big boy nursery and big boy school.

It was a big day at Station House yesterday as both LL and BB upped their game regarding the education system. LL promoted to the school nursery from Playgroup and BB started his first 'full day' at school.

Both were delighted about their new status in the 'big boy' world and LL especially skipped in to the new class and literally didn't look back! When I went to collect him he was beaming and proudly grasping a lovely drawing which he'd penned at some point during the session. Gone was the apprehension that hung in the air on his first day at Playgroup - he was more than happy to display his ability to take this momentous step in his stride!

It must all be about familiarity as he hasn't adopted the same confidence at his new 'mini kickers' class. He has been into the nursery on several occasions on 'open mornings' etc and new the script. Actually that is a complete contradiction as he has also sat on the sidelines every week as his big brother participated in the 'mini kickers' class!!

Anyways he was so enthusiastic and willing to join in on his first day, that was until the coach spent some time explaining the first game (of which he obviously didn't understand a thing) then stood up to let them get started. He became suddenly overwhelmed and out of his depth and dealt with it the only way he knew how - he wailed! He just stood there rooted to the spot and cried his eyes out. It reminded me of an episode of The Simpsons where it showed the world through 'Santa's Little Helper's' eyes (their dog) where anything that was said to him just sounded like 'blah,blah,blah,blah,blahrdeeeblah....'and then stood there looking blank whilst Bart looked on expectantly awaiting him to fulfil the command he'd just given!

Poor thing.

His dad tried him again the following week and the result was much the same. Other circumstances have excused him from attending in the last couple of weeks, but we'll give it a go next Tuesday to see if he thinks that now he's at big boy nursery he's big enough to cope with the class. It's a pity too - as he would happily kick a ball around all day!

Potty update

I've just realised that I didn't update how we got on with LL's potty training.

Well - clever boy that he is embraced it to the full, and after only 3 days of whoopees (and me popping a chocolate button into his palm every time he wee'd in his potty) he went accident free. Since then there's only been a handful of occasions where he's not made it to the toilet, but even after a week we weren't having to prompt him and he just toddled off to the toilet on his own and would tell us after he'd been. What a difference waiting until they're ready makes!

The ball is rolling...

After taking away CC's carrycot yesterday, I've had a bit of a 'what the hell I may as well resign myself to the fact that he's not going to remain a newborn forever' revelation. Today it was the 'highchair'. We don't actually have a highchair, but instead we have Tripp Trapps - chairs that grow with the child and as such we made the decision this time not to purchase another, but instead to move BB into a 'big boy' seat and fit the baby pack back onto his chair.

BB was chuffed to bits about his promotion, and after a bit of reshuffling of the seating arrangement around the table (LL was moved to the 'big childrens' end) CC was pleased to bits with his new chair and happily claimed his new position at the head of the table.

It's the beginning of a new era at Station House. On Monday BB starts full days at school, and LL starts full time at the school nursery. The mornings will be short again (11:30 pick up for LL) but CC should get some QT with his parents without the interruption of his brothers demanding attention. That's the plan anyway - hopefully the housework and gardening don't get in the way!

When did it all stop?

I've just wolfed down a whole tub of Ben & Jerry's (albeit frozen yogurt) and I think it's because I've felt a little down today.

BFS left for work this morning. Without his constant presence I've had quite a bit of thinking time and as the day has worn on it's occurred to me that a teeny bit of rekindling of love is required at Station House.

I'm not sure when it happened but, sometime in the last couple of months, the small gestures and moments which bind a couple in a way that no one else is privy to have been slowly dissipating. The kiss before you say goodbye, or go to sleep, the hold of a hand, or the quick moment snatched at the bottom step before a small child comes hurtling around the corner. It's not that there's any less love - just a bit less effort I suppose. We've been so busy looking after the house, the garden, the children etc that we've forgotten to look after us.

BFS has been constantly reassuring a very 'I've had three children, and am feeling particularly self conscious' me, that he would jump my bones at the drop of a hat. I'm not quite there yet.

It's always been the small things that matter to me. A look or touch at the right moment can mean more than a thousand words, and I'm wondering if the fact that these are not present as frequently and without a second thought as they should be means that we need a little 'us' time?

It sounds nice, but at this point in time it's not something we're likely to get. CC is still 100% breastfed and will be for another 3 weeks. Even then although he'll be introduced to food, he'll still get his milk from me for a spell. Sleep in blocks longer than 3 hours would also be nice. Hopefully that will come with solid food. Babies do require a proper commitment, and for the next few weeks that's where my priorities lie, but once CC is settled into his feeding routine, and hopefully settled into his own room I need to address the commitment I made on 20th November 2005 and re-install the small things back into my relationship.

Moving too fast.

The growing out of teeny baby clothes is inevitable (especially when we had to discard all the newborn stuff by the time CC was a week old), however the transition through the sizes doesn't hurt too much as you can still hold onto your 'baby' by not dressing them inappropriately. It's not a true sign of your baby growing up.

As your little bundle learns to do new things, each tiny little hurdle overcome starts to amalgamate and snowball and before you know it your little dependee is maturing right in front of your eyes and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Even if you try!

You can't stop them gurgling and learning to make sounds, you can't stop them watching you as you walk around the room, learning to grasp things, giggling at things they find amusing, or learning to sit by themselves. Much as you want to hold onto your baby, sometimes you have to accept that you have to give in and give them that extra inch to embrace their independence. Today I did. It was a simple thing, and it came in the guise of packing away CC's carrycot and converting his pram to the sitting upright position. It doesn't seem like a big thing, but to me it's very significant. He is no longer lying flat - at his own request (he spent yesterday grumbling everytime I tried to lay him down to the point where I had to sit him up and rest him against the end of his carrycot - from where he beamed with sheer joy and pride!) even I can take the hint and have to accept that he is ready for the next stage in his little life.
I'm just not sure if I'm ready for it yet?