Marathon Effort....

I will come back and expand on this wonderful day where my heart has simply burst with pride after my eldest completed a most amazing feat...

As muddy as a duck puddle...

Some events today will be remembered by their level of muddiness....however it didn't start that way.

I heard BB rumbling around downstairs at about 6:45 am. He's been obsessed with the 'Optimus Prime' wee lego gift I brought back from Canada and can't wait to either a) get up in the morning or b) get home from school/friends/extra curricular activities to play with it. He's now using his initiative and parts from his other lego kits to expand OP's armour repertoire and play acting out scenarios in his head. He did crawl off to bed somewhat tired tonight and enlightened me with the information that 'if he did more sleeping than reading then he'd be less tired' Very insightful! He's definitely a chip off the old block though - I distinctly remember reading an entire Enid Blyton 187 page 'Five Find-Outers' books in one night with a torch under my duvet...

Once the older two were ceremoniously dumped at the school/nursery gates I returned with CC and set up a backdrop to take some passport pictures. I took about twenty, but think I may have just managed to get one which the good old IPS may accept. What a handsome loon my boy is turning out to be. Actually 'loon' being the operative word. It occurred to me the other day that I I left my baby when I went to Canada and came home to my little boy. He's growing up way too fast.

The plan for the afternoon consisted of scrambling together a picnic and whisking the boys off to the nearest NTS stately home (House of Dun), to hang out at the playpark, and have a picnic with pals. The rain started when we reached the car park, but quickly passed - thankfully as I was wearing my very open toed Birkenstocks. Unexpectedly a lot of the ground was very boggy and muddy much to the detriment of my pal Debbie who got her car most very definitely  stuck in it - precariously close to a bank edge which had a 60 foot drop! I didn't quite realise the extent of her 'stuckness' until I suggested we have a look at getting her shifted before everyone dispersed and headed homeward. It's a good thing I did as it took a load of bark and sticks (to gain purchase) and a heap of man(lady)power shoving from behind - trying to avoid the flying mud - to get the car shifting. There was a precarious moment where the back was sliding closer to the bank edge, but luckily it was freed safely. Not moments after we'd trudged back to the playpark and CC toddled his way up to me with his trousers Caked in mud. I didn't see what he did, but he was certainly out to challenge Persil over their 'clean in 30 mins' claims...maybe he should dump them in his water table like he did his brothers walking boot yesterday...ho hum!

After school we all played out in the garden. The boys were chopping between swinging on the rope swing and whizzing down the platform and across the lawn on their bikes. LL started doing it with his eyes closed. Not to be outdone BB copied him and promptly cycled into a bush and fell off! He then had the audacity to tell his little brother not to do it (because he couldn't). I laughed out loud.

I love Station House at this time of year - when the huge daisies (leucanthemums?) and blue thistles are in full bloom. It is in complete contrast to winter when the garden is so sparse, and since we lost the climbers (due to the damp) and the beautiful deep red leaved tree (due to the wind) the house itself seems so bare. It becomes so welcoming and homely. I can tell why it was put on the market at this time of the year - It certainly lulled us in! Who couldn't love this house when it comes to life in the summer?

Work trip

I'm feeling a bit like Carrie Bradshaw - I'm sitting at Regina Airport, Canada awaiting my first flight of a long trip home, and I got a sudden urge to pull out the laptop and write about my travels! I've quickly edited some pics which were on my phone and popped them on too to try and illustrate so please excuse any quality issues! So it's been a while! It's been a struggle settling into the new work-life balance routine. The return to work hasn't been without it's negatives. The travelling is a factor which didn't have to be accounted for before and the tiredness/lack of time with the family has been tough to deal with. It's not been fun for BFS as it's put more pressure on him too. We're both grown ups though so we've just been taking it in our stride. I think it was on my first day back that I was called into the bosses office and was asked if I could head to Canada for a fortnight in August. I wasn't sure if it was a test or not as I had assured him that I would be available to travel during my work time, so I told him 'of course' before I could make the call home just to confirm with BFS. It was 3 months away so I knew we could get something sorted out, and the job wasn't even a confirmed one! That three months have come around very quickly - and I have to admit in the run up I have been somewhat apprehensive as BFS took his first 4 week break with the boys pretty hard. He did inform me at one point that 'he wasn't finding it fun' but the one up side to me travelling 4000 miles away for 2 weeks is that I managed to take all of my TOIL prior to leaving so we could get some quality time together as a family before I jetted off and left him to it. We all drove up to ABZ on the saturday night and I was ceremoniously dumped at my mums house, given a big BFS squeeze, and left to blub away from little eyes which may be affected by seeing mum so sad about going away. The journey started in typical style for me when early the next morning I had to ask the taxi driver to do a u-turn right at the airport roundabout as I realised I had left my passport on the table at my mums! oops. Luckily enough the rest of the journey went by hassle free. We flew to Amsterdam, then had to bolt to our other gate, then we had 9 hours to Calgary (during which there were some pretty stunning views over Greenland)- a 4 hour wait there (whare I managed to catch Bolt breaking the Olympic 100m record) and then finally we caught our last flight to Regina (rhymes with vagina!), picked up our hire car and checked into our hotel after 21 hours of travelling. The hotel had an amazing pol complete with flumes and lots of screaming children - and my room lloked directly onto it! Luckily I was so shattered that I actually managed to sleep through the screams.... The next morning we jumped in our car and headed off for the 2 1/2 hour very straight drive to Estevan. Our final destination. We made a left turn at the end of town and our motel was 20 yards along on the right. Literally our only turn since leaving the hotel car park in Regina over 2 hours prior!

Breakthrough with blueberries!

First three steps!

David beat Goliath

Nursery woes...

Feeling cosmopolitan!

Oscar - mama

I had a poo daddy (Oscar in tweedy)

First day back at work!

Easter at Bro's

Well it's been a while! CC's birthday celebrations have come and gone. BFS has headed back to work and as I'm prepping to go back to work I'm relishing every minute of the Easter hols with my boys.

We started the day with an Easter egg hunt, using the eggs that the boys decorated yesterday when their cousins came over to spend the day.

Pleased with their finds, they proudly ran indoors to collect their prizes!

After naps and lunch we got ready to head to Bro's house where we were treated to an Easter scram Polish stylee. K did herself proud with a fine selection of food. CC chomped through, but after another 'choccy' Easter egg hunt the older two decided a cocoa dinner would suffice!

CC showed a little more confidence with his walking and took off unaided by any human hand using a toy stroller for stability.

A Happy Easter all round!

Happy Birthday CC!

I can't believe that a year has passed since CC made his entry into the world. I also can't believe that we spent the day celebrating it at the beach. Yes - on the beach....in Scotland....in March and it was glorious!

Talking of birthdays - Remind me to tell you about how BFS spoiled me rotten with a weekend in Edinburgh and a day at Nick Nairns cook school...

Now is the time where I'd normally get sentimental, but I'm in bed and very sleepy so I'll save the reflection on the last year for another day!

Happy birthday wee man. We love you loads xxx

Last night feed

Well we all grew a little bit older today. Today is my birthday and it was lovely. A day surrounded by my family with nothing but reminders of how lucky I am. I also made the decision tonight that just over a week before he turned one that CC would get his last feed from me. I haven't yet said anything to anyone except him, but I think tomorrow I'll let BFS have the honours and have him put his son to bed. He's not yet walking and therefore by default still seems to be my 'baby' but it won't be long and I see tonight as the first step of accepting that my little one is soon to embark upon the next stage and will have to realise that he is not that far from becoming a toddler much as I am desperately clinging onto him as my baby and am slightly in denial of this!

He gets his brains from his daddy!

*BB's reading book*

'Why would the snow make them wet?'

BB's reply:

'Because it's white rain...!'

I rest my case

Pulling himself up...

CC impressed his Great Grandma when we were visiting for her 85th birthday by pulling himself up onto his feet using her sofa. He impressed his mummy too as (apart from on a one off occasion) this was his first time doing do.

Now he just has to start realising what his feet are for......

Now he really is...

Whereas in the last post CC had found his way on to his knees, I'd say that yesterday was the day when he decided that crawling was a better option than commando-ing! He has no interest whatsoever of getting onto his feet - but does like to pull himself up onto his knees!

The boys all had fun at a 'zoo party' today at their little friends house. BB even touched a bearded dragon!

He's up on his knees....

DIY Studio

BFS made a specific request for some pics 'of his boys' so last weekend I threw together a makeshift studio (roll of fabric bulldog clipped onto a table on a table!) and let the boys loose.....

Good Mum or Domestic Goddess?

In the last 9 months since CC came along I've become somewhat houseproud. This is a statement that BFS may refute, but even he would have to admit the change in the house compared to this time last year. I find that I am even more so when he's away at work. It never seems to end - I was even defrosting the freezer at 9:30pm tonight!

This would certainly be deemed to be a good thing, and it can only have a positive effect on our marriage (let's just say that BFS has no qualms in making his frustration known)but today I started to question how good it is for the kids?

Don't get me wrong - I'm by no way suggesting that they should be brought up in squalor and fed frozen meals in front of the telly, but today I just felt so frustrated at my inability to interact - and more specifically being unable to leave the house and subject them to fresh air on what was a still, bright, glorious winter day. BFS had called in the morning asking what our plans for the day were. I assured him that the only plan I was making was to get the boys out that afternoon for a walk or a trip to the park.

As it was I spent the morning doing chores and some odd jobs whilst awaiting the arrival of Mr. Tesco.com. Poor CC was confined to his ba-pa-doo-waaah activity centre whilst the kitchen was cleared and breakfast dishes done, the fridge and freezer were sorted in anticipation of their new contents. Luckily the grocery delivery coincided with him going down for his nap. However the subsequent putting away of groceries then took over an hour. Before this was completed LL had arrived home from nursery (kindly dropped off by a friend), I then had him help with 'putting away,. I then made our lunch, then prepared CC's fruit and veggies for steaming. Once his lunch was ready I got him up and fed, then I had the kitchen to clear again and all of the dishes to do. Once this was done I then had to start cooking our fish pie which BB had requested for dinner. Once this was finally done and prepped and ready to go into the oven (which I had set the timer for cooking whilst we were at BB's dance class) it was 3pm and time to quickly get another bottle down CC's throat and get BB's dancing gear and scoop up both boys into the car to collect BB and drive him to his dance class, from which we wouldn't return until 5:30 (and pray that I'd set the oven correctly and our dinner had actually cooked!)

All the while LL was left to amuse himself which consisted of him following me around sweeping the floor after I was done, then re-washing all of the dishes for me (him pottering in the sink pouring water from vessel to vessel!)whilst I chopped veg and other pie stuff and poor CC was once again confined to the activity centre being drip fed raisins to chase and chew to keep the grumbles at bay. So much for quality time with the boys. I wonder if I should just phone social services before someone beats me to it!

Ironically I remember having a conversation with friends and BFS about a mutual acquaintance who had a sparkly new house which she spent every spare second cleaning (even when guests were in) and two kids who couldn't have a real childhood because they couldn't touch anything and didn't get any time with their mum because she was too obsessed with clearing up. Now I'm nowhere even close to the obsessive cleaning thing - and my house would never make it into Good Housekeeping and the kids can play to their hearts content (although they're much better at clearing up after themselves now) but it has to be said that BB (and to a lesser extent LL) had much more mummy time. Doing things with them definitely took priority over worrying about the domestic side of things. I felt guilty enough about the fact that CC fits in around the other two as it is, but now I just feel as though I should be giving him so much more, but instead I'm always doing something else.

The one thing that I've done for him is deciding to ditch our usual Wednesday toddler group and instead travelling an extra 6 miles to Fettercairn to attend a different one. I thought initially it would be nice to meet a few new faces, but actually it's good because it's just a different set-up. You sit on the floor and play with your child rather than sitting on a bench sipping tea whilst your child amuses them self! It's only an hour a week - but it's one completely devoted to him where I can't be distracted with the dishes, or that thing lying out of place, or preparations for lunch or dinner.

I know that being the perfect mum should come under the umbrella of being the domestic goddess - but right now I can't see how the two can be combined. It's either domestic me, happy hubby and neglected kids or neglected house, p***ed off hubby and happy kids. Now it's like the 'Daddy or chips' question.....

Or maybe I can just work at finding a happy medium because right now I'm failing in my role as Mum extraordinaire and that's just not acceptable!

Snip snip

This was the moment when BB had his first 'mummy authorised' trip to the hairdresser. Daddy did take the two boys along just over a year ago to a special 'kiddies hairdresser' without my knowledge - and still to this day I am ashamed at the way in which I handled the shock of seeing my boy with his hair chopped when it was sprung upon me (I think I may have scarred BB for life at that point about heading to the hairdresser!)

It's taken over a year, but today I convinced my boy that it was okay for it not to be mummy who cut his hair, and along with a bit of lollipop insider knowledge (thanks K!) he happily skipped along to the grown ups hairdresser and sat like an angel whilst having his locks chopped. I gave him the decision whether he'd like it somewhat shorter, but he said he liked it long - so he got a trim and a lot more layering done - so it actually looks much shorter than it was. I patted myself on the back for being uber enthusiastic throughout the whole affair and he left with a lollipop in hand and a smile on his face.

Taking off......well almost!

CC is soooooooo close to taking off. He started the year just managing to get onto his front from the sitting position by doing the 'frog'. He'd press his feet together, knees split to the side and pull himself over. last two weeks ago he started reversing this and progressed into pushing himself backwards until he'd work a foot back under himself so he could push himself back to sitting. He's been working on this technique for the past week or so and so can propel himself backwards until he reaches his destination and then uprights himself. Adding to this he's now bringing his knees together and rocking on his knees in the crawling position but hasn't sussed moving his knees yet - he'd rather flatten himself on the ground and frantically kick his legs as though he's practising a new swimming stroke!

Very late in the day he actually mastered rolling over only yesterday! I'd just discussed with BFS last night about how if you plonked him on his bum in a room and left, then when you came back he could have moved anywhere, however should you leave him on his back he would remain there like a stranded turtle. No sooner had I said this than at the next nappy change he promptly rolled onto his front as if trying to make an escape! What a nightmare - I'm now having to pin down one of his arms to keep him still long enough to get his bum wiped!

There is no doubt though, that by the time BFS returns from work that he is going to be greeted by a mini mobile missile!

Damn you Mother Nature

I'm feeling somewhat disheartened this evening. BFS headed back to work a few days early today - but that's not the major reason for the low ebb. It's because my body no longer appears to be functioning in the way that it should.

It's not that hard. I'm a mum, I have a simple function and that's to provide milk for my offspring. My supply however, appears to be drying up. I had full intentions of nursing CC until he turned one, but I doubt that's going to happen. The demise started when BFS and I headed to London for the weekend as I dropped a couple of feeds to ensure that CC would take the bottle from his Gran. That coupled with the less frequent expressing whilst away has left me on the back foot since we came back.

For the past few weeks I've only fed early morning and at bedtime, but have had to top up at bedtime with formula otherwise he isn't satisfied (which counteracts the supply and demand argument). Last night he fed on one side and after a measly few seconds of sooking on the other he came off and looked up at me as though asking 'well where's the milk mummy?'. Oh dear! He slept until breakfast time so I dropped the early morning feed expecting to have filled up by tonight, but no...he still got a measly offering. He's 10 months next week so I'll persevere until then and just start drinking gallons of fluid throughout the day, but I'm miffed mostly as the decision of when to stop feeding should have been something that I should have been able to make myself - not just because I had to.

On a better note though (as you may have picked up from my rant) CC is sleeping much better now. He generally makes it through to 5am, but even better on the past few mornings I've been totally spoiled with 6:30 - 7:30am sleeps. That coupled with the fact that BFS has been an absolute start this leave and has let me get loads of rest. I'm actually beginning to feel half human again. I still look like shite, but at least I'm functioning in a semi normal fashion!

Our year has started out pretty relaxed. We went off to hibernate in Skye for a week and cut ourselves off from civilisation over the New Year period.We lived in our pj's, the boys played with their xmas Lego and Playmobil and we played games and watched DVD's. BFS caught up on his rest and when we got home I got a tad unwell so it was my turn to hit the sack for a couple of days.

I'm heading back to work in April so we have to make the most of this next few months together before the disruption hits...

Mummy do you have a willy?

Asked LL this morning, and then when I told him I didn't he asked 'can I check?'

Errrrrrmmmmm.......