Good Mum or Domestic Goddess?

In the last 9 months since CC came along I've become somewhat houseproud. This is a statement that BFS may refute, but even he would have to admit the change in the house compared to this time last year. I find that I am even more so when he's away at work. It never seems to end - I was even defrosting the freezer at 9:30pm tonight!

This would certainly be deemed to be a good thing, and it can only have a positive effect on our marriage (let's just say that BFS has no qualms in making his frustration known)but today I started to question how good it is for the kids?

Don't get me wrong - I'm by no way suggesting that they should be brought up in squalor and fed frozen meals in front of the telly, but today I just felt so frustrated at my inability to interact - and more specifically being unable to leave the house and subject them to fresh air on what was a still, bright, glorious winter day. BFS had called in the morning asking what our plans for the day were. I assured him that the only plan I was making was to get the boys out that afternoon for a walk or a trip to the park.

As it was I spent the morning doing chores and some odd jobs whilst awaiting the arrival of Mr. Tesco.com. Poor CC was confined to his ba-pa-doo-waaah activity centre whilst the kitchen was cleared and breakfast dishes done, the fridge and freezer were sorted in anticipation of their new contents. Luckily the grocery delivery coincided with him going down for his nap. However the subsequent putting away of groceries then took over an hour. Before this was completed LL had arrived home from nursery (kindly dropped off by a friend), I then had him help with 'putting away,. I then made our lunch, then prepared CC's fruit and veggies for steaming. Once his lunch was ready I got him up and fed, then I had the kitchen to clear again and all of the dishes to do. Once this was done I then had to start cooking our fish pie which BB had requested for dinner. Once this was finally done and prepped and ready to go into the oven (which I had set the timer for cooking whilst we were at BB's dance class) it was 3pm and time to quickly get another bottle down CC's throat and get BB's dancing gear and scoop up both boys into the car to collect BB and drive him to his dance class, from which we wouldn't return until 5:30 (and pray that I'd set the oven correctly and our dinner had actually cooked!)

All the while LL was left to amuse himself which consisted of him following me around sweeping the floor after I was done, then re-washing all of the dishes for me (him pottering in the sink pouring water from vessel to vessel!)whilst I chopped veg and other pie stuff and poor CC was once again confined to the activity centre being drip fed raisins to chase and chew to keep the grumbles at bay. So much for quality time with the boys. I wonder if I should just phone social services before someone beats me to it!

Ironically I remember having a conversation with friends and BFS about a mutual acquaintance who had a sparkly new house which she spent every spare second cleaning (even when guests were in) and two kids who couldn't have a real childhood because they couldn't touch anything and didn't get any time with their mum because she was too obsessed with clearing up. Now I'm nowhere even close to the obsessive cleaning thing - and my house would never make it into Good Housekeeping and the kids can play to their hearts content (although they're much better at clearing up after themselves now) but it has to be said that BB (and to a lesser extent LL) had much more mummy time. Doing things with them definitely took priority over worrying about the domestic side of things. I felt guilty enough about the fact that CC fits in around the other two as it is, but now I just feel as though I should be giving him so much more, but instead I'm always doing something else.

The one thing that I've done for him is deciding to ditch our usual Wednesday toddler group and instead travelling an extra 6 miles to Fettercairn to attend a different one. I thought initially it would be nice to meet a few new faces, but actually it's good because it's just a different set-up. You sit on the floor and play with your child rather than sitting on a bench sipping tea whilst your child amuses them self! It's only an hour a week - but it's one completely devoted to him where I can't be distracted with the dishes, or that thing lying out of place, or preparations for lunch or dinner.

I know that being the perfect mum should come under the umbrella of being the domestic goddess - but right now I can't see how the two can be combined. It's either domestic me, happy hubby and neglected kids or neglected house, p***ed off hubby and happy kids. Now it's like the 'Daddy or chips' question.....

Or maybe I can just work at finding a happy medium because right now I'm failing in my role as Mum extraordinaire and that's just not acceptable!