Damn you Mother Nature

I'm feeling somewhat disheartened this evening. BFS headed back to work a few days early today - but that's not the major reason for the low ebb. It's because my body no longer appears to be functioning in the way that it should.

It's not that hard. I'm a mum, I have a simple function and that's to provide milk for my offspring. My supply however, appears to be drying up. I had full intentions of nursing CC until he turned one, but I doubt that's going to happen. The demise started when BFS and I headed to London for the weekend as I dropped a couple of feeds to ensure that CC would take the bottle from his Gran. That coupled with the less frequent expressing whilst away has left me on the back foot since we came back.

For the past few weeks I've only fed early morning and at bedtime, but have had to top up at bedtime with formula otherwise he isn't satisfied (which counteracts the supply and demand argument). Last night he fed on one side and after a measly few seconds of sooking on the other he came off and looked up at me as though asking 'well where's the milk mummy?'. Oh dear! He slept until breakfast time so I dropped the early morning feed expecting to have filled up by tonight, but no...he still got a measly offering. He's 10 months next week so I'll persevere until then and just start drinking gallons of fluid throughout the day, but I'm miffed mostly as the decision of when to stop feeding should have been something that I should have been able to make myself - not just because I had to.

On a better note though (as you may have picked up from my rant) CC is sleeping much better now. He generally makes it through to 5am, but even better on the past few mornings I've been totally spoiled with 6:30 - 7:30am sleeps. That coupled with the fact that BFS has been an absolute start this leave and has let me get loads of rest. I'm actually beginning to feel half human again. I still look like shite, but at least I'm functioning in a semi normal fashion!

Our year has started out pretty relaxed. We went off to hibernate in Skye for a week and cut ourselves off from civilisation over the New Year period.We lived in our pj's, the boys played with their xmas Lego and Playmobil and we played games and watched DVD's. BFS caught up on his rest and when we got home I got a tad unwell so it was my turn to hit the sack for a couple of days.

I'm heading back to work in April so we have to make the most of this next few months together before the disruption hits...