I'm cheating!

(Update - here's the pic I sent to playgroup for his peg. Face covered in birthday cake - but adorable all the same!)

I've crawled off to bed and I'm not giving this post the true care, time and attention it deserves....my baby boy LL starts at Playgroup tomorrow and I've been shockingly blasé about it. Even this post is being scrawled on my phone and there will be no pics.

Have I let his toddlerhood pass me by? I've been very happy to let him follow his brother like a shadow. It's the easy option - a babysitter on tap! I find it utterly adorable the way he dotes on his brother, how he watches from the corner of his eye and copies every cross of the legs, sip of a drink, tilt of the head and noise shouted in glee, but has this been to the detriment of our relationship???
Don't get me wrong, he turns to me when he falls, will happily provide kisses and cuddles on request, and snuggles up for stories and tv before bedtime, but he is also fiercely independant and fearless and not nearly as reliant on me as his big brother was. I think this sends a wave of guilt over me on occasion.
Right now I suppose I feel gulity that this huge thing for him has been overshadowed as his brother started back at nursery a couple of days ago, and because I actually don't feel in the slightest bit nervous about dropping him off tomorrow morning. I just have it taken for granted that he'll be fine...is this niaive of me? What if he isn't? I suppose secretly a part of me will be happy. It will be confirmation that perhaps, just maybe I have devoted enough time to my baby boy after all.

And if he is fine? Well maybe I should just accept that maybe he actually has more of his mum's genes in him than I was willing to admit ;0)